Month: October 2015

Have you ever thought of your own recovery, whether it be from additions, sickness, or spiritually.  We all go through hardships it’s just a part of life.  The idea of using spiritual practices to help us stay on track is nothing new. For people of addiction we usually use the 12 step program to get back on track so what about sickness or if you are suffering spiritually.  The tools we use for sickness are coming to the hospital to receive care, going to the doctors or going to the store for a wonderful home remedy.  What about the tools for the lack of spirituality?  I was recently with a group about spirituality when one young man piped up and said I don’t know about being spiritual so I don’t think I am.  I started to explain to him what spirituality is.

“Spirituality can be defined as an inner path enabling a person to discover his/her being. Spiritual practices then might be described as those that help the individual discover who they really are. These practices can be tools that allow the individual to develop within their religion or the person can follow a more personal journey. There are some people who use these spiritual tools almost purely for the way in which it can benefit their life today rather than trying to achieve some type of transcendence.”

There are many benefits to engulfing on a spiritual self-discovery because our spirituality or faith helps us better cope with trials and tribulations in our lives.  It gives us the ability to control our emotions and fears during sickness or recovery. Spiritual exercises can give us a boost each day to set us in a positive motion err regardless of what happens during the day.  Some tools we can use are meditation, prayer, breathing exercises, inspirational readings, art work, helping others and mindfulness.

I’d like to focus on mindfulness which is an ancient Japanese custom.  “It is a spiritual practice that involves purposely paying attention to the present moment. This means that the individual is completely focused on what they are doing now and not thinking about the past or worrying about the future. When the person is doing something they really enjoy they will be naturally mindful. The problem is that for the rest of the time people can be lost in their heads. It is not necessary to sit in a certain position or learn any mantras to be mindful. The individual can be mindful no matter what they’re doing so long as they remember to focus on what is there right now. By doing this the individual will be able to turn almost any activity into a spiritual one.”

Why is spirituality important? Why is recovery important?  What do people mean when someone is soulful? Discovering our own spirituality we are decreasing our stress levels, we are decreasing sickness, we are leveling our temperament.  We will have in increase in happiness and contentment.  Being spiritual or mindful can cure insomnia.  Some people find it gives them clarity and make better decisions. There is a sense of contentment even when we are faced with the worst situations. In essence we become a better mother, father, child, friend, or a better person in society.  When we add a faith community to our spiritual practices we tend to become soulful as spiritual paths can lead to feelings of transcendence and enlightenment.  Getting in touch with our spirituality gives us meaning and purpose in life.

(Resource: http://alcoholrehab.com/addiction-recovery/daily-spiritual-practices-are-helpful-in-recovery/)

 

Today my reflection is on efficiency. Sounds strange right? Most of us think of making our life, our day more efficient. How can I get from A to Z in an efficient manor? How can I manage my time to get everything done that I need to do? If only I was more efficient.

This is an excerpt from The Awakening Heart Book by Gerald G May, MD on Opening Yourself to the love you need because it’s not about efficiency.

“…bear the beams of love. There are three meanings of bearing love: to endure it, to carry it, and to bring it forth. We are to be the birthers of love.

Yet “We have difficulty just being: we think we must get on with more important things. We have to be efficient. In becoming adults, we have been conditioned to believe that efficiency is more important than love.”

Through our journeys in the hospital and through hospice we have discovered certain aspects of each other. “You have your own personality, your own addictions, and aspirations, your own conditioning. In other words, you have your own ways of being dysfunctional. Similarly, you have your own ways of experiencing love and appreciating grace. Nevertheless, I am willing to bet that when you have your wits about you, you know that love is far more important than efficiency.”

We really do know the importance of love when our wits are about us. So how do we keep love in the forefront of our lives?

One way is to share yourself with another. Share something about you that someone might not now. Be vulnerable. Let others in. Share your time with someone you care about. Help someone in need. Be empathetic. Empathy is a component of love. It is a time when we go beyond ourselves and put ourselves in other people’s shoes. In order to truly love we need to feel what another is feeling. See empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s condition from their perspective. If we are concentrating on how efficient we need to be we are lacking focus in others. It is truly through others that we learn to love.

Today let us pray for learning to love more and less need for efficiency. Let us pray that we try to understand others and feel another’s feeling so we can deepen our awareness of others. Let us be willing to hear other’s stories so we can journey with them. Let us be open to our ability to empathize and to let other be empathic as well. For is in journeying with each other that we find true love.

Recently, I was thinking about our energy,  how negative energy affects your life and how to clear it. We’ve all been around negative people who zap our energy and in essence zapping their own energy because it takes far more energy to be negative than it does to be positive.

People with positive energy are drawn to positive people and people with negative energy are drawn to negative people. We tend to think others are negative, it is never us. Sometimes we feel negative if we’ve had a hard day and we want people to leave us alone.  Did you know a lot of negative energy goes unnoticed in us? It’s because sometimes negativity is disguised as ‘reality’. It’s easy to rationalize that you’re ‘just being realistic’ in not daring to act on a dream – and believe it! Sometimes we think people who are overly positive and optimistic are naïve or not being realistic.  The person is in denial, their head is in the sand; all sound familiar. Are they really happy idiots or is there something to their positivity?

Being realistic can sound like negativity but is it? When you view the world from a ‘realistic’ standpoint, you can’t help but be negative IF your version of reality is negative. So if your vision of reality is negative, you can be conditioned to believe whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and whatever can go right, will probably go wrong too. Your unconsciously held beliefs make you into a negative person without your being aware of it! Boy this is deep, if our negativity is so ingrained in us, how do we see it in ourselves and how do we change it around to draw on the positive, thus attracting other positive people to be around us.

Here are some quick questions to ask yourself: Do you complain? Do you often discuss what’s wrong in the world? Do you criticize and judge? Do you dramatize? Do you blame? Do you feel like a victim? Are you grateful for what is?
If you’re not grateful except when things go right, you are negative. Gratitude is positive. If you are grateful for what is including the unpleasant school of life lessons, then you can invite more and more positive energy into your life. Just another thought who do we blame when things are going well and who do we thank?
Do you thank yourself when you’ve done something good.  See I’m a big fan of being proactive and in generating positive energy.  We have the option and the know how to choose a positive attitude.  We can get up each day and say: I’m going to be positive today. Here’s something interesting, positive people seem to get what they want out of life, and even if things don’t go their way, they still enjoy their lives even with the bumps in the road.  They have a positive attitude towards sickness and suffering.  It’s something that happens to everyone yet they seem to get through it with ease.  Most positive people do not whine and moan about their misfortunes. To clear our negative energy, we need to do three things.  Take ownership and stop blaming.  “When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.” – the Dalai Lama Change negative thoughts into positive thoughts. It takes practice, patience with yourself and a decision to choose the good, positive energy we all have.

Change your heart to love and find your spiritual energy.  Try to bring more light and love into your life; visualize the positive; overcome your past; think with your heart.  So choose to change your inner light and let it burn brighter.  Find people who support your positive energy and your spirit; trust your gut more and spread the love.

What happens now is your positive energy permeates to others and all things become better.  There is a great happiness and inner peace which you will feel.

And when someone is being negative, let them know, hit the high road, find commonality and don’t ignite the fire of negativity.  Spread the joy and smile. (Resources: Beliefnet; Signs of Positive and Negative Energy and Social Consciousness.com; How Negative Energy Affects Your Life and How to Clear It, 2013)

Let us prayer for all those who are negative, may we show by our example of positive energy how one is to live.  Live in harmony with each other because of our love for each other.  Let us help others to change their light so they can shine brighter and have inner peace.  Amen.

(My Soul and My Character by Sharon Douglas)

Let us pray:              

Oh Great Spirit, I pray today for my soul.

Because I want strength to break away from bad habits

 which may move me away from having a positive outlook.

Help me to free myself from habits which blemish my character.

May I not lose courage and fall back in the old ways, but by your guidance continue to lead me in a positive direction.

For I so wish for a great sense of values and morals to help

others and myself to form a better world.

In a world which calls us in the direction of integrity and authenticity.

May our Great Spirit be with us on our journey and help us

maintain a deep sense of calling to be all we can be.

May our cup overflow with goodness and our souls be filled with joy.

Amen.

A prayer for ourselves (Sharon Douglas)

Great Spirit, there are times when I just want to know what to do. And I look for you to guidance! Help me be kind to myself as I try to change those things in me I do not like. Help me be compassionate with my family and friends who are journeying with me. Help me to be authentic and truthful to those around me. Oh Great Spirit, stand beside me, let me feel your presence. Give me the strength I need to fill my soul with goodness. Amen
 

The Black Spot Story

One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin. The professor handed out the question paper, with the text facing down as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin. To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions….just a black dot in the center of the page. The professor seeing the expression on everyone’s face, told them the following:

“I want you to write what you see there.”

The students confused, got started on the inexplicable task.

At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students. All of them with no exceptions, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet, etc. etc. etc. After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor began to explain:

“I am not going to grade on you this, I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot – and the same happens in our lives. We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots. Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care, and we always have reasons to celebrate – nature renewing itself everyday, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see everyday…….

However we insist on focusing only on the dark spots – the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend etc

The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.

Take your eyes away from the black spots in your life. Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you.

Be happy and live a life positively!

Resource: Inspirational story , – Inspirational Quotes, Pictures and Motivational Thoughts.

This story makes me think of how I look at the world and especially how we search for our vocations or follow our calling in life.  See, it is important to keep in mind that vocation is not only about what we do but about who we are. When we narrowly focus on one thing as in the black dot we are not seeing things around us thus seeing our full potential.  Do we tend to stick to a routine? Do we take risks? Do we play it safe?  Evelyn and James Whitehead put it this way: “Vocation is a gradual revelation – of me to myself by God (higher power). It is who we are, trying to happen.” Our callings have to do with the kind of person we are called to be, the quality of our personhood, the values and attitudes we embody, the integrity and authenticity of our lives. From this vantage point, vocation is less about the particular things we do and more about the spirit with which we do them. “Character is not what you do,” writes James Hillman, “it’s the way you do it.”(Excerpt from Sister Angelica from VCLFF)

So when we find ourselves looking at the dark spots of life, remember it is who we are and who we are trying to be.  Let your life unfold before you, let go, explore, try new things.  It is all about the white space!

Reflection – Avoidance

In avoidance, we simply find ways of avoiding having to face uncomfortable situations, things or activities. The discomfort, for example, may come from unconscious impulses.

Avoidance may include removing oneself physically from a situation. It may also involve finding ways not to discuss or even think about the topic in question.

For example: I dislike another person at work. I avoid walking past their desk. When people talk about them, I say nothing.

Or my son does not like doing homework. Whenever the subject of school comes up, he changes the topic. He also avoids looking directly at me.

Avoidance is a simple way of coping by not having to cope. When feelings of discomfort appear, we find ways of not experiencing them. According to the dynamic theory, avoidance is a major defense mechanism in phobias. And procrastination is another form of avoidance where we put off to tomorrow those things that we can avoid today.

So why do we avoid?

Why do we avoid/procrastinate doing things that we know are very important to us, demand very little effort and time, and would turn out to be very fruitful if we did them regularly?

Such as exercise, meditating for 3-5 mins, reading topics of interest for a few minutes per day, studying for some time, spending time on good habits every day, working on own independent research every day, avoid conflicting situations. I believe that this is a very common problem with slightly different scenarios. I also believe that there must be a scientific reason behind all this and well-studied psychological thought as well.

Minimal short term benefits / fast results: The world is pacing or we choose to observe it advance with such a speed that seems unfathomable. Everyone is in a hurry. We want quick outcome out of whatever we do. People expect to get toned muscles in three months, master yoga within no time or read the Ayurvedic literature and quickly get the most out of it. And so on. The patience level is also decreasing gradually in the masses.

When you think that it is difficult or times consuming to achieve that goal, the brain in the end evaluates such tasks as not fruitful and avoids or procrastinates it. Sometimes it completely makes sense, but other times we have to understand the time factor, the learning curve of doing that task.

Our Brain is in a routine: Your brain is awesome in the matters where there is repetition involved or whose frequency of occurrence is high. For example: Changing the gears of your motorcycle while riding. Remembering to have your breakfast, lunch or dinner, or as simple as your walking style. Your brain gets into such a routine that most of the tasks would be done without you even actually noticing it. Procrastination or ignoring important activities could also get into this routine. Try to break that routine. “Change is important”.

Avoiding change: We live in a society, where our thinking and mentality is molded by the people we are surrounded with, our surroundings, our comfort zone. Our actions and thoughts are in equilibrium with our living ecosystem. If we try to change something within this ecosystem, there will be adjustments which would happen. Sometimes we fear those adjustments, or avoid such things to happen. Try to embrace that change.

Lack of determination: Hans Dholakia, Motivational Life Coach,… Because our knowledge hasn’t matured into realized wisdom and we haven’t added will to what we desired. Usually until some major suffering strikes, we don’t really wake up. Spiritually, it is the work which is within us and neurologically, it is a complex process where many forces work.

Resource: https://www.quora.com/Why-do-we-avoid-procrastinate-doing-things-that-we-know-are-very-important-to-us-demand-very-little-effort-and-time-and-would-turn-out-to-be-very-fruitful-if-we-did-them-regularly

And what can we do to avoid avoiding?

In effect, we can rewire our habit-driven neural circuits by making small changes and gradually picking the harder tasks. The Yoga route: Daily pranayama and meditation will deepen the introspective insights and as we understand better, we can connect the dots and intensify the will, by and by.

To get us to face what we are avoiding, you may have to corner ourselves or otherwise present the situation where we are unable to avoid the situation. If the discomfort is very strong, we may fight back hard, so be careful in what you confront yourself with and who you involve!

Give yourself a choice of two actions, one of which is something you know that you tend to avoid or which is likely to be less desirable. You will pick the path you want in order to avoid the less desirable way.

Presence Prayer by Sharon Douglas

 Let us pray:

Let us pray for the presence of our supreme being in our lives,

To guide us and to shepherd us,

To take our hand and hold us when we are sad,

To have a shoulder to lean on in our times of trouble.

May I be a presence for others as my supreme being is to me.

May I be poised, courteous and at ease in my presence,

May I be a protective presence for those who need it,

And may I remember also to be a calming presence for myself.

For all experiences (good or bad) are better with the presence of a

Caring person who is willing to share of themselves.

So today let our presence to others be one of kindness, compassion,

empathy and of quality.  Amen.

(Transformation by Sharon)

Let us pray, May we ask for hope,

hope to transform us,

hope to help us through.

May we pray for patience to be patient with ourselves.

We are not perfect and the journey is not perfect,

yet we yearn to be good and to do good.

So today let us rejoice in who we are.

Let us embrace the changing of seasons,

to help us in our own transition of life.

May we pray for us to let go and be renewed

by the changing of the seasons.

Let us not be afraid as we know there is someone

or something which is greater than us.

This outside force leads us and challenges to

transform and to let go.

No fears as we change from this day to

the next, to be a better person,

a better friend, a better wife or husband,

or whatever it is you want to be better at.

So embrace the changes, let your life

be your life. Just embrace and be renewed.

God’s Presence or anyone’s presence. How important it is. Use page 278. Friends make us better people. God’s presence or acknowledging a higher power in our lives makes us better people. Because when we believe in something beyond ourselves we are moving towards the positive, we are letting go of our self-centeredness. When we do this, moving into a positive direction, then we take on a set of values and morals. Such as being kind to the other person, we find ways to fulfill one’s life with goodness, help those in need, etc. etc. …… Enough said.

So what is presence and why do we say, be present for her/him? Please be present for me? Your presence matters to me? Or your presence is requested.

Presence is the state or fact of being present, as with others or in a place. It is attendance of company, being in the immediate proximity of another. I was present at the store; I was present at my daughter’s recital. This is the physical sense of the word but what about the spiritual side of presence.

Presence is the ability to project a sense of ease, poise, or self-assurance, especially the quality or manner of a person’s bearing. We talk of a speaker who had a good deal of stage presence or in the deliverance of his speech. One might say: He has a fine presence. Some of us talk about the presence of a higher being in our life. (from the Online Dictionary)

So why is presence important? Why do we want someone to be present for us?

When someone is present for us we appreciate that presence. We have someone to talk to and to listen to us. Having someone there for us and listening makes us feel more alive, we feel our true selves coming through which is why our presence matters.

It is important that we do not ignore the presence of others or our own presence. Our presence is considered the essential features of human existence because of the way we process our experiences not only with ourselves but with others. If it was not for others we would get immersed in our own self-centeredness without fully experiencing the joy of human activity and life. We as human beings have a significance which matters to others and our very existence makes the world go around. In general, our intent is to experience life as fully as possible with the implicit assumption that this is the ultimate reality of our being since everything that matters to us can be traced to our experiences and especially when others are involved.

Wow, so this is deep. We are in direct contact with people of this world every day, but our presence matters in all things and how it is manifested or in other words how we come into presence. See the full potential of this is; we have a sense of being engaged in our experience and in our life. A philosopher, named Heidegger refers to this as “being in the world.” His thought is that our worldly presence matters for how things actually unfold, well beyond any physical processes.

Our presence and those of others in our lives is importance and has great significance because we listen to each other’s troubles, we give each other a sense of worth, we hold each other accountable and we inform each other of things we need to know. We need each other to be a presence with us through this life, in the good and the bad times so that we can feel good about ourselves and be empowered. Let your true self come to the surface because your presence matters in this world and here on earth. Think about how you can be a presence for another. Manifest yourself in someone else’s life by being a positive presence for them today. (_{Excerpts taken from Being There: Heidegger on Why Our Presence Matters By Lawrence Berger)}

We ask our supreme being to make us strong enough to manifest our presence to others in a positive manner. May we be at ease with ourselves and lose our self-centeredness. May we be blessed to come into the presence of others. May we have a true sense of being in this world and making a difference. Amen.